I went to the shed, got a ladder, and a saw and came back to the tree. After climbing up into the tree I positioned myself so that I would be able to reach the limbs. It didn’t take very long to do the job, and as I was getting down I looked into a hollow place over which I had been sitting and noticed a big chicken snake looking up at me. I quickly got down out of the tree not wanting to disturb the snake any more than I already had. Then I got to thinking, ‘I don’t want that snake hanging around my goal when I’m trying to play basketball. Maybe I need to kill it.’
I still was not intending to get into any trouble, but this is actually where my trouble began. I figured there was only one way to get the snake out of that hollow in the tree. I would have to pour hot water on it to get it to come out. Isn’t that what anyone would do? I went in the house, got my rifle, and a pan of hot water. I loaded my rifle, set it on the ground beside the ladder and carefully climbed back up in the tree while carrying that pan of hot water.
Something I had not thought about was how close to the snake I had to get to drench it with the water. Do you know how fast a snake can come out of a hollow tree when somebody has doused it with a pan of hot water? Do you know how fast a fourteen year old boy can hit the ground from fifteen feet up in a tree after a big snake has jumped on him after having a pan of hot water poured on him? I can tell you. Both happened at just about the same amount of time!
I don't know how I kept from killing myself or at least breaking something. I hit the ground and immediately grabbed my rifle and shot that snake. That did not go exactly as I had planned, but I still had not gotten into trouble. That old snake was dead, but it was twisting and turning like it was alive. That was pretty neat. I began thinking what I could do with a dead snake like that. I had in my possession a big dead snake that was still moving. It didn’t take me long to figure out what to do with my perfectly good, dead snake. I would take it over to my dad’s grocery store/gas station and try to scare somebody.
By the time I got across the road I had my plan figured out. I took the snake to the back of the store and laid it on the loading dock. Then I went back around the store and walked in the front door. My dad’s first cousin, Earl, worked for us. I happened to know that Earl was afraid of snakes. This would be perfect I thought. I said, “Earl, someone is out back wanting five gallons of kerosine.” Earl was such a wonderful guy. “Ok, I’ll take care of it.” He walked over to the back of the store, opened the door and walked out onto that loading dock.
It was about that time that I realized that I had made a huge mistake, and that I was in big trouble. I don’t think I had ever heard a man make a noise like Earl made. Everybody in the store ran to the back door thinking that something terrible had happened to Earl. When I finally saw Earl he was holding his hand was over his heart, he was breathing hard and sweat was rolling down his face. He sat down in a chair while someone fanned him, and my mother had gotten a wet towel to put on the back of his neck.
Sometimes a boy knows that his dad is going to just about beat him to death, which he did. My dad wasn’t happy. He was very upset with me. It was supposed to be a nice day. I just planned to eat breakfast and shoot some baskets. I had no plans to get in trouble. Sometimes a boy gets in trouble before he knows it. I wouldn’t have had it not been for that terrible snake. They seem to get a lot of people in more trouble than they thought they ever could. Snakes and trouble have been partners for a long, long time.
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