Pastor Avoids Arrest

Once in the late 1980s I made a huge mistake, one that could have gotten me time in the hoosegow. My arrest would have been big news because I was the pastor at a church in Glendale Kentucky. There was a meeting in Louisville that I was scheduled to attend, and I was running late. A stomach bug had kept me awake the night before, a storm had knocked out the power, and I had overslept because the alarm hadn't gone off. I hurriedly got ready and rushed out of the house for my forty-five minute drive to Louisville. Being an insulin dependent diabetic I knew I had better stop somewhere and eat, so I stopped at a Cracker Barrel. After I had eaten my breakfast I rushed to pay for my meal.

Unfortunately, that stomach bug began doing his thing, and I had to go to the bathroom. I paid my bill, and headed to the bathroom.  While stuffing the change in my wallet I literally ran to the bathroom. As I was sitting in the stall I happened to notice how nice this bathroom was. I had never seen such a fine restroom in any Cracker Barrel. About that time someone entered restroom, and the sound I heard terrified me. Click, click, click, high heels! I panicked realizing that I had unknowingly gone into the ladies restroom. The clicking sound stopped in the stall next to the one I occupied. Making matters worse another lady came in and went into the stall on the other side of me.

What a predicament, sitting in the john between two women!  I didn't move or make a sound. There I was in enemy territory, behind the lines. ‘What if I am discovered? What if one or both of these women start screaming?’, I thought. I could see my mugshot on the evening news. I could see the headlines in newspapers all over the state. “Pastor Apprehended in Ladies Restroom!”

I had to do something; devise a plan of escape. Finally, I calmed down enough to do the only thing I could do, wait, wait until both of those ladies left and pray that no one else came in. I bet not many men have prayed that prayer. So I waited, prepared to bolt out of that stall as soon as the the last lady left. I listened. The first lady finished and clicked her way out of the restroom. Then the second lady left. I had my chance and quickly retreated to the safety of neutral territory. My  prayer had been answered, and I had escaped without being detected. I was relieved in more ways than one.