How Not to Celebrate a Wedding

Some common celebratory wedding practices used to include, and maybe still today, stringing tin cans to the back of the grooms car, jacking up the back of his car so that the wheels were barely off the ground, or painting the car windows with white shoe polish. Some of you may remember seeing the words, “Just Married” on the rear window of the newly weds car.

My coach, Bob Birdwhistell, and I went to a friend’s wedding many years ago. The wedding was way out in the country, a good distance from everything. We wished that we had thought to get a bottle of white shoe polish. About two miles from the old country church we noticed a small, run down country store that appeared to still be in business. We stopped and went in to see if they had white shoe polish. Behind the counter was an older man counting money. He never looked up, nor did he say a word to us. So Bob and I searched on our own, but couldn’t find what we wanted. Bob asked the old fellow, “You got any white shoe polish?”

Without looking up and continuing to count his dimes and quarters this store owner answered with a one word reply, “Maybe!”

I’ll never forget the look on coach’s face. He looked at me with a kind of puzzled, yet devilish smile and shook his head. As we made our way to the door coach said, “Well! Thank you! You’ve been very helpful!” The ole man replied, “No problem.”

Country folks used to celebrate a wedding with a custom called “Chivaree”. I never saw this, but I heard my parents and others tell about it. Back when my parents were young, few newly weds went away on a honeymoon. After the wedding and wedding reception, if there was one, they went home to enjoy being by themselves. After the couple had turned out the lights and had gone to bed to enjoy their first night together, a crowd of friends, many neighbors and kinfolks who had quietly gathered outside would begin whooping and hollering, banging on pans, and firing their shotguns in the air. Some would bang on the windows and doors while yelling “chivaree, chivaree, chivaree”. Some of the ruffians in the crowd might go inside, get the groom, bring him outside and rough him up a bit even if he didn’t have a stitch on.

I can see why a honeymoon became something newly weds decided to do, even if the honeymoon meant getting a room in the next town over. My wife and I drove about 60 miles to Nashville Tennessee after our wedding in Glasgow Kentucky which was at my aunt and uncle's house, and stayed one night in the King of the Road hotel. It was all we could afford, but we thought it was nice. The next day we drove back to Bowling Green Kentucky to our used trailer we had bought. We were so happy!