Before Susan, our oldest daughter, was old enough to go to school we lived about fifty yards behind my mother. While Sherri and I were at work my mother baby sat Susan. Obviously our arrangement with my mother was perfect, especially since we did not have to worry about getting Susan ready in the mornings when we’re running late. Mom would walk across her yard into ours, get Susan ready for the day and take her back to her house.
Susan was my mother’s first grandchild, and the two of them developed a very close bond. Susan was entertained but not necessarily spoiled. They loved playing games, and my mother wanted to win just as much as Susan did. One of their favorite games was Candy Land. In those first weeks that they played and Susan was learning how to play, Susan would get very upset when she didn’t win. I guess most grandparents would feel bad about winning and hurting their sweet grandchild’s feelings. Most would let that grandchild win every time afterwards. But not my mother. She would tell Susan that if she acted that way when she lost they would stop playing. Susan finally learned that sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
Children must learn that life is full of defeats and disappointments. They need to learn that losing and not getting one's way every time is going to happen. A child needs to learn how to accept defeat. There are many good lessons to be learned from our defeats, lessons which will make us stronger, and help us to truly enjoy our victories all the more. Children must understand that trophies are not handed out just for participating in life’s struggles. Oh, wait! I believe today’s children do get trophies even when they don’t win. What parent wants to go home with a whining child who is angry because he didn’t get a trophy for losing the game. Now that is a practice that will prepare that child for the real world.
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