Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Plumbing Gone Wrong

Many years ago my mother bought one of those cushioned toilet seats. She was going to hire someone to take the old one off and put the new one on. She told my brother Mike and I what she was going to do. I told her not to hire anyone, that Mike and I could do the job. She agreed to let us try, but she was a bit hesitant. My mother knew that my Mr. Fix it skills were very limited, and that Mike’s mechanical reasoning expertise was woefully lacking. There we were two brothers who were going to attempt something that would no doubt cause our mother great anguish.  

I got a wrench and began loosening the nut under the left side of the commode. No problem. It came right off. Mike said, “Let me do the other side.” I was the big brother so I told him, “I’ve got it.” I had already proven I was the expert. I began working on the right side, but the nut wouldn’t budge. There was no telling how many years that toilet seat had been on the commode. Rust had formed on the nut, and it was stuck tight. I said. “I don’t think we are going to be able to get this off with the tools we have. Let’s call Bobby to help us.” Bobby was our cousin. Getting that rusty nut loosened would be no problem for Bobby.  My suggestion was more reasonable than what Mike chose to do. Mike thought I should give him a try before we called our cousin. He picked up the wrench and began his attempt at getting the nut off. He was having no luck. He said, “I know how I can take care of this nut.” 

Mike got up and went to the utility room where my mother kept her limited arsenal of tools. He came back with a hammer and a screw driver. I knew there was going to be trouble when I saw what he had in his hands. That’s when the argument began. I don’t remember my exact words but I think I said something like, “You idiot, are you crazy? You are not going to use that hammer on this commode!” But Mike’s replied was exactly what I thought  it would, “I know what I am doing! You shut up and leave me alone.” We had had many conversations like this before. 

As always my mother walked in to get involved in our argument. When she saw what Mike was about to do she told him not to continue with his stupid plan. She didn’t say it like that, but I knew what she was thinking. Of course Mike didn’t pay any attention to what she was saying. He put the end of the screw driver on the nut and began hitting the end of that screw driver with the hammer. Tap, tap, tap. The nut didn’t move. The next sound we heard was a louder tap, and then the sound of porcelain crashing. The water in the commode gushed out all over Mike’s head and onto the bathroom floor. The right side of the commode was completely destroyed. My mother was speechless. I don’t know why, but I began laughing. “Good job Mike! At least you got the nut off. 

Mike was young when this fiasco happened. Our dad had just died. Mike was !9 years old and in his first year of college. I know he wanted to help mom with whatever she needed done. Sherri and I had only been married a year. Mike was the man of the house. He was going to take care of small jobs even if he didn’t know how. I think everyone of us have taken on responsibilities which were beyond our reach.  That’s when we need help the most. We can find direction in the Bible just for times we are not sure what to do. Here is great advice for removing the unmovable rusty problems that all of us will have some time  in life. 

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

This verse tells us to pause before diving head long into uncharted waters. Stop and seek good advice from those who have learned from years of experience. Listen to God. If you go it alone you might end up drenched by a flood of toilet water, so to speak.

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